Done as a pun on the original "Homesick Alaskan" panel upon returning for the first time from Savannah, this one is strictly for folks who've ever migrated from the swamplands of the South to the barren, hostile tundra (basically anywhere north of Virginia). Any additional editorializing about having one's head in a goddamned oven is purely coincidental: not meant to imply it's an experience similar committing suicide in a sauna.
When my first wife dragged me on a visit to Texas in 1995 to try to kindle my interest in moving there, I was amused by the tales the locals used to scare each other with, of a dark and frigid land called "Pennsylvania," where a glass of water would actually FREEZE ALL BY ITSELF if left outside during the winter months, when perpetual darkness gripped the land. They would smile into each other's leathery faces, baked a rich, pre-melanomic mahogany and laugh at the idiots who choose to live in such places.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a cartoon I've got sketched out - along the lines of the Three Bears: I moved to Alaska ("it's too COLD!"), then I moved to Georgia ("it's too HOT!") and now I live in Maine ("now I can bitch endlessly about BOTH").
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