"Current Internet Mood"

This has been a really hard winter, for so many folks – myself included. Unusually so it seems. It’s the first time I’ve personally ever experienced such prolonged unmotivation, which very rare for someone whose calling card has always been consistent, disciplined productivity (at least when it comes to drawing). The usual SAD from extreme darkness pus intense cold was layered – perhaps bonded would be a better description - with pandemic fallout. “Malaise” is the operative word here, that and the oft-expressed existential stress. Add to the mix being overweight + outta shape, continuous irritability/all-around general bitchiness, never-ending exhaustion and fatigue, and you have the perfect recipe for some serious sadness. Just about everybody I come across is either burnt-out, or really close to the edge. And that's only from just a moose's perspective.

I know that must be on really thin ice when I scroll across some heart wrenching story from, say, The Dodo (like for example this one, or here's another one) and my daily spiral of doom-scrolling is interrupted with the feels. To be sure, none of this is nowhere near as bad as being invaded or losing your home, so, sure, “first world problems” and all, and so humbling in the light of other people’s struggles – but these mental health issues are absolutely valid, and potentially debilitating nevertheless. Cut yourself (and others) some slack, take it easy on yourself (and others), and know that you ain’t all by yourself in feeling all this. The more I talk with other folks the more I feel grounded, and the less I am alone. My routine has been upended so many times now I just feel adrift, unsettled and unsure of anything much less myself. I’ve declined now over half a dozen freelance opportunities in past few months in part on account of A) prudence (realizing I’m almost completely at my limit) and, B) also due to being incredibly behind with the couple overdue active accounts I still haven’t managed to finish.

Someone reminded me weeks ago that there was a palatable shift in the energy with the incremental gain in daylight, when we all reached a tipping point into very early spring. You can feel it, it’s happening. Just not as fast as we need it, and there’s a damn good reason February/March is the worst time of the year for so many because it’s an emotional yo-yo what with thirty-degree temperature/mood swings, and we’re so used to just barely managing maintaining altitude that the smallest emotional speed-bump can derail everything. Hang in there.