"Unicorn of the Sea"

"'Do you know, I always thought unicorns were fabulous monsters, too?
I never saw one alive before!'
'Well, now that we have seen each other,' said the unicorn,
'if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you.'"
- Lewis Carroll; Through the Looking Glass

Not appearing in any newspaper near you anytime soon. Not only below the community standards of common decency and good taste, the narwhal probably isn't exactly picturesque or well-known enough of a species for the panel to really work. But then again, since when has that ever stopped me. And yeah, technically the tusk juts from the upper jaw, not off the nose like depicted here. It's okay though, since there's also no such things as unicorns either. 

A previous version had an actual virgin reaching out with trembling hands towards an unsuspecting odondocete, but just a wee bit too risque.  I suppose when us humans slaughter off the last rhinoceros in pursuit of their quest for the pharmacological grail of sexual fortitude they'll next set their sights on hunting down the next best thing with a horn.
And if you ever want to seriously annoy anyone in the next cubicle, play this for about a half an hour.

"A wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn." - Tibetan proverb